How to Date a Plus Size Woman: Respectful Tips for Men

If you are interested in a curvy woman, you probably already know what draws you to her: the warmth, the confidence, the way she carries herself. What you might not be sure about is the practical side. This guide to how to date a plus size woman covers the basics with respect, honesty and a bit of common sense.

At Shag a Fatty we are a dating site made for plus size singles and the people who admire them, so this advice comes from people who see these first dates every day.

Start with respect, not curiosity

The biggest mistake men make is treating a plus size woman as a novelty. She is a person with a job, friends, opinions and a sense of humour, and she has probably heard every clumsy line going. Ask about her life, her work and what she loves. Compliment her style, her laugh or her brains as well as her looks.

Be confident that you are interested

Many plus size women have been on dates where the other person seemed embarrassed, undecided or only there for a bit of fun. If you are genuinely attracted to her, show it plainly and kindly. Be clear about your intentions, reply to messages, and turn up when you say you will. Consistency is more attractive than any grand gesture.

Things to do and things to avoid

• Do compliment specific things, such as her smile or her outfit, and mean it.
• Do pick venues with comfortable seating. Booths, sofas and chairs without arms are easier for everyone.
• Do let her set the pace, especially early on.
• Do not comment on her food choices, her weight or her diet. Ever.
• Do not say “you have such a pretty face”. It is a backhanded compliment.
• Do not make assumptions about her health, confidence or past.

Plan dates that put her at ease

Think about where you are taking her. A busy, loud bar or a cramped restaurant with tiny stools can be stressful. A relaxed dinner, a walk and coffee, a gallery or a cosy pub with comfortable seating works beautifully. If you are not sure, ask her what she would enjoy.

For more ideas, see our guide on plus size first date ideas.

Understand her history

Many women have had negative experiences with dating because of their size, from rude comments to men who wanted to keep things secret. She may be cautious at first. That is not a reflection on you. Patience and honesty go a long way, and trust grows when you are consistent. If she is nervous, our page on shy BBW dating explains why a slow start is perfectly normal.

Do not hide her away

If you are serious, treat her like you would anyone else you are proud to be with. Introduce her to your friends, take photos together and talk about her openly. Secrecy is one of the fastest ways to lose a woman’s trust.

Where to meet plus size women

You can meet people through friends, hobbies and local events, but it can be hit and miss. A dedicated platform helps because everyone is there for the same reason and nobody needs to explain themselves. If you want to find out more, you can read about plus size dating in the UK or free BBW dating.

Keep communication honest and fun

Be yourself, be curious and keep a sense of humour. Do not rush into physical talk. If you are looking for something light, be upfront about it, as we explain in our BBW casual dating guide. Whatever you want, honesty is what keeps things kind.

Frequently asked questions

How do I compliment a plus size woman?

Be specific and sincere. Mention her smile, her style, her humour or something she has said. Avoid anything that focuses on her weight.

What should I never say on a first date?

Do not comment on her body or her food, and do not ask about her weight or whether she is on a diet.

Is it OK to say I find curvy women attractive?

Yes, if it is said with respect and not as a fetish or a joke. Keep it personal and sincere.

Where can I meet plus size singles?

A dedicated dating site is the easiest place, as everyone is there for the same reason.

Ready to Meet Someone?

Women date free on Shag a Fatty, and men pay a single yearly fee of £39, with no monthly subscriptions. If you would like to meet curvy singles who are looking for something real, join Shag a Fatty today.